goodbye india

my last day in india arrived too quickly! i was excited to get home, but sad to be leaving.

for my last breakfast, i took money to the restaurant to give to all of my favorite waiters. i gave my favorite waiter, ravi, a little bit extra, because he was always so sweet to me. not to mention, he was cute! the whole tip giving experience was hilarious, since most of the waiters only speak a small amount of english (enough to say “tea or coffee madame?”). i had to explain in as simple words as possible that it was my last day, so i wanted to say thanks to all of my regular waiters. they fetched those who had been in the kitchen (including some waiter i’d never even seen, ha!), and i passed out bills. when i back in my room getting my computer ready to leave for work, there was a knock at the door. it was ravi! he wanted to come up to thank me again and tell me that he wished me a good trip. i don’t know if he realized that i gave him a little extra money, or if he just wanted to be nice. i told him he had been my favorite waiter, which made him beam. he said “ma’am, you…you are my best friend.” i’m quite sure that limited english played a role in this statement, but it was still great. and hilarious. i recounted the story to sunil, and he thinks ravi has a crush.  he also thinks that ravi may be one of the more educated waiters from my stories, so i’m hoping for his sake that he moves up in the restaurant over time!

off to the last day at the office…sigh. i had several work things to finish up, and some final meetings to end the trip. i met with all of the managers to discuss how the training had gone, how the project would work going forward, etc. the managers in the office are extremely gracious and well-spoken, and i’m glad that they seemed to approve of everything that had been done! we had our last lunch (which was delicious – more butter chicken, some other kinds of breads, this non-gravy chicken thing they have that is cooked in yogurt – mmmm), and we discussed everything i had done and what i thought of india, etc. it was a good finish to the work part of the trip. later that afternoon, i walked around and took pictures of the teams with whom we work most commonly so that i can show my US colleagues what the person on the other end of the email looks like! i also took some final pics with the ladies of the office, my lunch mates from the past month. all in all, the office experience was great. i’m so glad i got to come on this trip!

final thoughts to come later…

gardens are for lovers

i was sad for my last weekend day in india! one of my other colleagues, gaurav, came to fetch me in the morning. we headed 40km to another temple – chattarpur temple. this one was huge, and pretty crowded. it was crowded more with people worshiping than with tourists, which was kinda cool. again, no photos of idols unfortunately. i did get a few photos outside the temple though.


after the temple, we headed to the garden of five senses. on the way, we saw something called the rose garden, so we stopped. it was not as great as portland’s rose garden! i also learned something funny… gardens in india seem like they are almost exclusively full of couples. in almost every other part of india, you will never see any PDA. in fact, it’s way more common to see two men (friends) holding hands than to see a couple holding hands. however, in the parks and gardens apparently these rules don’t apply. gaurav said that couples come to places like this because they have nowhere else to go. i guess it’s true that they can’t indecent like this at home, since they all still live with their parents before getting married. walking around a park full of couples with one of my colleagues is only slightly uncomfortable! ha. i should have known the garden of five senses would be more of the same, but i wanted to go. since india is full of such beautiful flowers growing in some pretty awful looking places, i thought a purposeful garden would be amazing. unfortunately, the garden was a bit of a letdown. i still contend it only engaged four senses (unless some of the flowers were edible and i just missed it). i suppose if i had been there by myself, it would have been a good place to sit and read a book, finally finding a quiet place in noisy delhi. instead, gaurav and i just walked around for awhile before heading back.

we had south indian food for lunch, which is quite different than north indian. most of the indian food you find in the states is north indian. south indian is a bit lighter, and i really like the thing called a dosa. the dosa is like a giant, thin crispy pancake. it can be filled with various things, but i liked the version with potatoes and onions in it. it can get a bit messy, and i’m still trying to get used to eating with my hands sometimes, but it was delicious!

of course there was more shopping

saturday i went shopping with sunil and his family again. we headed to janpath, which was full of tourists and local shoppers alike. this was pretty much my first experience with haggling, and thankfully sunil did most of it for me. he had the slight advantage of hindi and local price knowledge, whereas i must have had the tourist target painted on my shirt (they’re thinking “this lady has no idea how much this costs, so i think i’ll mark it up 10 times”). there actually was an embroidery stitcher that the guy told me was 400 rupees, and after sunil’s haggling, i ended up paying 50. 50! (that’s one dollar for those of you who are wondering what the latest exchange rate is.) we also had the handkerchief guy try to dupe as, but luckily sunil’s brother had had this trick recently played on him. the handkerchief hawker haggles, gets his price down to around 10 rupee per cloth, let’s you look and touch, but doesn’t let you take them out of the package. sunil asked him what size they were, and he said they were regular size, but he wouldn’t give sunil the package. after a little argument, he finally gave up and let sunil pull out the handkerchief. after unfolding it, we saw that i was only a miniature handkerchief. after a reproachful look from sunil, the guy unbuttoned the bottom of his shirt and pulled out a package of the real size handkerchiefs. deceptive little jerk! oh well, i was entertained by the argument and the fact that he hides the real size handkerchiefs in his waistband. as my carrying bag became heavier and heavier, i kept thinking of more gifts i should buy. i was hoping the entire time that i’d be able to fit these things in my suitcase!

we had lunch at nerula’s, a place that my friend had said she’d heard of as famous in delhi. turned out it was more of an ice cream and fast food place, but it was still tasty. i guess it’s hard to do lentils and naan badly. we invited the driver, naresh, to have lunch with us. in fact, i’ve been struck by how sunil treats him like a regular person, whereas some of the others i’ve met here definitely treat the drivers like they are a lower part of society. (and i guess in the indian social strata, they are considered lower.) i think it’s great that sunil treats him like he’s just hanging out with us for the day, engaging him in conversation etc. i wish i spoke hindi so that i could engage him in more conversation!

we then went to another temple (i’ll have to update later with the name). as with several temples, i was not allowed to take in my camera. and even if i had been able to take in my camera, photos of the idols is not allowed. i wish it were though – all of the idols of Krishna, Ganesh, Shiva, etc. are beautifully done and quite fascinating. binni gave me the blessing of one of the gods – the red powder on my forehead. i don’t entirely understand the purpose, but it’s the thing to do at the temples. i’m pretty much there to admire the architecture. at this point, i was starting to get used to walking around barefoot, from marble temples to the dirty sidewalk outside.

after traveling around delhi for the day, sunil invited us in for a tea. again, he invited naresh in as well, which i thought was great. after sitting around for an hour or so talking (with sunil usually translating half of the conversation between groups), we relieved naresh of his duty. i stayed at sunil’s for a delicious dinner made by binni – dal, potatoes, two types of rice and roti. i watched her make the roti (AKA chapatti) – she rolled out the dough into rounds, cooked each side of it in a pan for a minute or so, then put it directly in the stove flame, flipping it quickly. the roti puffs up and gets its airy texture this way, i’m guessing. she then rubbed two roti together with a bit of butter, making a whole stack of them. i gotta figure out how to make these at home.

sari saree shari

i was worried what sari shopping might be like - would they try to push the hard sell, like so many hawkers here in india? (“please madame, best price here. best quality in india. you get good product here, madame.”) this technique frustrates me more than interests me in the product, so I was hoping for that to not happen. i went to the local market with sunil, his wife binni and their son shivankur to look at saris. basically you sit on a couch while the various shopkeeper and her assistance roll out hundreds of saris in front of you. you just indicate whether you are liking the colors and styles that she is showing, so that she can show you more in that style. even though the effort that it must take to refold all of these saris does not seem worth it, they keep throwing more and more out for you. it was hard to make a decision – so many were lovely! eventually i decided on not one, but TWO saris! what am i going to do with two saris?!? i’m thinking one might have to get turned into a skirt eventually, as i can’t figure out where i should wear the saris anyway. maybe my friend’s wedding this summer?

after buying the sari itself, we stopped by the tailor to get measured for the blouse to be hand-tailored. for TWO DOLLARS! crazy...

holi hai!

i'm back at my hotel after 24 hours of celebrating holi craziness!

even though i'd seen pictures and movie depictions, i think i still did not realize exactly what it would be like. the office party was pretty tame compared to real holi. we used mostly dry colors (some colored, perfumed powder most likely full of chemicals and toxins), though there were a few buckets of colored water that the men threw mostly on each other. the traditional way to wishing someone happy holi is to put a bit of powder on the forehead and the cheeks, then hug. it was actually kinda sweet seeing everyone in the office hug each other (don't worry, gender lines were not crossed on the hugging). most people did go beyond just the forehead and cheek smudge and put a lot more powder on the other person's face. we played a couple of games - a sort of tag and then musical chairs. and yes... i did have a couple of beers! there was one girl who told me it was ok. i felt like i got the eye from a few other people, but i decided i didn't care. here's a pic of me with the ladies from the office
after the end of the office party, my colleauge kapil took me to his family home in a nearby city, ghaziabad, to celebrate the local way. i got to meet his entire family and get a tour of his house. we then went out to a couple of neighborhood bonfires. the fires burn mostly malt, surrounding a wood teepee sort of thing. the men of the neighborhood offer up their prayers and offerings to God, putting things into the fire. we then took some of the embers back to the home, where a smaller fire was built with dung cakes. (it wasn't smelly.) the women then offered their prayers for a good summer growth. we all wished each other "happy holi" and gave some more colors. we then had a delicious dinner - which was another indian experience. the women first serve the men (and guests - me), and then the men serve the women afterwards. kapil said sometimes the men would serve the women first, but they generally do not eat together.

kapil and his wife so graciously offered me their room and bathroom. i've been told that it's a hindu tradition to treat guests as "God", and i can say that the saxena family treated me wonderfully! kapil's mother and wife gave me bangles and anklets. the family gave me a tiffin box that i had eyed at a nearby store. the food they served was delicious (even if i got so stuffed i could barely eat each item)! the only disappointment was that kapil said monkeys like to play on his porch swing, but i didn't get to see one. ha ha

the next day, we watched a bit of the new zealand-india cricket match (a game i'll never understand, nor do i want to). we then headed out to celebrate holi with the neighborhood. first several of kapil's father's friends stopped by to wish us happy holi. the older men giggled like little boys when the gender lines were crossed and we hugged. i still cannot figure out if they only initiated that because of my foreigner status. after getting initiated with color at the house, we headed to the park. there were many people throwing color, dancing to the punjabi drums, eating fried snacks, drinking thandai (sadly no bhang). kapil's father was afraid no one would initiate holi with me unless i started it, but he needn't have had this concern. i swear, i had a target on my white face (which was quickly turning colored). water guns full of colored water were aimed frequently in my direction, buckets of water dumped on my head, mud mixed with color and color powders covering my face frequently. don't worry - this was happening to everyone else as well (even if a bit more frequently to me and to teenagers). the women forced me to dance to the punjabi drums a couple of times - that was interesting (and thankfully i have no photos of that). we then went to visit all of the family and family friends in the surrounding neighborhoods to wish them happy holi. more colors, more snacks and lots of "happy holi" wishes ensued. i saw several groups of boys in motorcycles riding around getting buckets of colored water thrown at them. i also saw several shirtless boys jump on another boy and literally rip his shirts off of him. too bad i wasn't fast enough with the camera to catch that! after many visits and snacks, we ended up back at kapil's home.

despite the almond oil i had applied to my hair and moisturizer to my face, the color was pretty hard to remove. i went through several washes and scrubs with soap and a flour/coconut oil mixture. my hair still has a hint of pink, and a bit of color can still be seen on my face, arms and chest. i don't know if it's because i'm not used to the colors or because of my fair skin, but this stuff sticks! the photos that i took really to not even do it justice - it's like my camera could not handle all of the color. despite a fair bit of craziness, the experience was unforgettable.

delhi part deux

sunday tours took me to south delhi. first stop - humayun's tomb. if there's one thing the muslims know how to do, it's build beautiful tombs. with less tourists than the taj, this place was serene than agra.



my tour guide on sunday was our old friend, GN, so you can imagine that more interesting conversation ensued. we went to the qutab minar next - a minaret built in the 12th century. 12th century! the place is under a lot of restoration work right now, but it's still pretty impressive to behold. most of these places cost about 250 rupees for me to get in and 10 for GN, which i think is pretty fair. it still cracks me up, though, that they call it the foreigner rate. yep, agnes, i'm the foreigner now! GN asks me why american women have short hair, as he thinks long hair is so much more beautiful. i try to explain to him that baby-fine blond hair does not look nice long, but i think the concept is lost on most men...even more so on an indian man. he also asks me why i have such fair hair... i wanted to answer 'why is the sky blue?' but i just shrugged my shoulders instead. ;) we discussed how uncommon divorce and extra-marital affairs are in india, and GN asked me why they are so common in the US. again, i had no answer...what can you say? i tried to explain to him how things have changed in the US in the past couple of generations, and the younger people just don't get married as young (even if they live like married people do, as he was thinking). GN and i ended the afternoon by going for a delicious south indian lunch and then doing some market shopping.

i was then handed off to another colleauge, aditi, to see a movie with her and her friend. we went to a mall...and i felt like i was in the states! they were playing counting crows over the speakers, many US and european stores were all over...it was kinda weird actually. we went to a movie (revolutionary road) - even though i did not get the typical hindi movie experience, it was still a bit different. people seemed to have no problem answering their (ringing) phones during the movie, there was an intermission, and the laughing definitely happened at different times than i expected. all-in-all, it was a great weekend!

i feel like there were many more things i wanted to write about, but i've got to finish up some things and then prepare for holi! the office party is tomorrow, then the actual day of holi is wednesday!

dehli dehli

this weekend i got to tour around delhi with a few colleagues. saturday's adventure began with a stop at jantar mantar, which was quite impressive (though boring, i think, to my colleague). these gigantic things were built to measure time and astrology... it's like the 1700s version of tarot.com. (shout out to jewel!)




then on to the jama masjid, the largest mosque in asia. in order to keep me proper for the muslims, they gave me a muu-muu to cover my short-sleeved shirt (not even sleeveless, i swear!). considering recent attacks in india, i honestly don't mind the extra modesty. and check out how gorgeous i was - hard to resist. there was a high tower to climb (tough with a muu-muu always getting stuck underfoot) - from where we got some amazing views of old delhi. you could almost not hear the horns below...almost.

then to lunch at a delicious place called karim hotel - a couple of comments about this place. first, the hindus seem to leave it mostly to the muslims to butcher the animals, so chances are good that you'll find the best meat dishes in muslim neighborhoods (since we were near the largest mosque in asia, you can probably guess that this was a mostly muslim neighborhood). second - what is up with all of the restaurants called "hotel" in india. i don't get it. third...my first run in with no western toilet option. not fun... very smelly hole in the floor in a 2ft x 2ft space, i swear. ick. the rickshaw ride through the teeny alleys of old delhi was...exciting! i also got to experience my first taste of holi - we had several water balloons thrown at us! thankfully it was not colored water...not yet anyway! the ride was full of people staring at me, drivers throwing up their tobacco/betel leaf mixture in front of us, crazy traffic jams, near fights with other rickshaw drivers...pretty interesting!

then we went to the red fort of delhi - made by the same emporer as the taj mahal and the agra fort. some pics:

my tour guide for saturday was my colleague gaurav, who told me some interesting stories about his last job in a call center, doing "MI" - marketing intelligence. you know those telemarketing type people who cold call you, trying to get personal information? yep, there were people at his company doing that. interesting...

gender roles

more on the gender roles here in india...

when having lunch with some of the ladies of the office, rachna told me that i could tell she was recently married because of all of the bangles and jewelry she was wearing. i asked if this was because when a woman is recently married she makes an extra effort on her appearance, but once she's been married awhile she doesn't have to try so hard. because, after all, "he now knows what you look like when you get up in the morning." the giggles i got when saying this only thinly masked the slight horror. i was then told how a woman is expected to be made up and dressed nicely at all times for her husband. some women even sleep in their saris?!? all i have to say is...wow. (and if you're still wondering about the bangles - it's really just a custom to wear them either for a month and a half or for the first year of marriage - depending on where you live.)

next story on the gender roles... this coming week we will have an office party for holi. there are kingfishers being ordered, and for a brief moment i got excited thinking i might not have to wait until the plane ride home for a nice beverage. i'm then informed that only the boys will drink, and that it's really not something for girls to do. now i must decide... be one of the "sweet girls" of the office, or not care what opinion the office may form of me. decisions, decisions.

oh! and why is the entire world a male toilet? i swear...every time i turn around, some guy is taking a piss. there's not even an effort to go up to a tree or wall.

random musings

some of my random india musings for today...

• why are there mothballs in all of the drains?
• will i ever lose the urge to take a swig of water when brushing my teeth?
• interesting that playing music at your desk is totally acceptable (must remember my ipod headphones)
• my friend sarah mentioned how weird it feels to be so served - so strange! the tea guy in the office brings my tea, the doorman at the hotel salutes me, the hotel breakfast guy practically trips over his feet running to see if i need anything else, the driver rushes to open my car door for me (i think my own rush to get out of the car is breaking him of this habit), etc.
  
• the only people who socialize outside of work are the "bachelors"... and it seems that it's inappropriate for me to socialize with them. *sigh*
• puppies are still cute, even when they are street dogs playing in garbage piles
• cows are not cute, especially when they are playing in garbage piles (ok, maybe not playing...but eating)
• there are a lot more people wearing western clothing than i expected
  

taj mahal!

i got to visit one of the seven wonders of the world!

this entry must begin with a description of the journey - a 4 hour car ride with a kind, non-english speaking driver with a lead foot. i think maybe a safer car ride would have been in the indy 500 because at least there i would have been strapped in! (here backseat riders do not need to wear a seat belt by law, so most of the cabs just hide the belts inside the seat.) i can see that they are very good at what they do, but that doesn't always calm the mind as you inch between cargo trucks and autorickshaws at 100 kilometers/hour. literally INCHES. the journey began at 6am, and i tried to drift asleep between the honking and slamming on the brakes.

anyway, after a exciting journey, we arrived in agra. first stop - THE taj mahal. it's amazing to consider something so huge, complex and beautiful being built in the 1600s. i won't bore you with the history of the monument (wikipedia can do that for you), but basically it's a memorial of a mughal emporer to his favorite wife. both the emporer and his wife are entombed there. the building is almost entirely made of white marble, with precious gemstones enlaid to make designs. to the left of the taj is a mosque and to the right, a matching guesthouse. both of these buildings are made of red sandstone (when i write sandstone, i can hear my guide's accent in my head: san-ne-stone). the surrounding gardens are surprisingly tranquil, considering the amount of visitors the place gets. thankfully, there was a slight breeze to cool the over 90 degree temps - the place is so open to the sun, it gets pretty hot. my guide told me that it gets to over 120 degrees in july and august. here is a picture of the beautiful place (which i'm told is even more beautiful in moonlight and sunrise).



and my guide...little deepa. he was quite endearing, with his memorized scripts. i found that his english was actually better with conversation than with his memorization, which was funny. the only problem with deepa...was when he tried to force me on the local shops where he would make a commission. i lose my patience pretty quickly when shopkeepers use the hard sell - i don't want your gemstones, alright?! don't get me wrong, they are beautiful...but my house payment is due today. i know that when they see the western girl with her own driver, the assumption is that i must have loads of cash. and i'm sure comparitively i do. but that doesn't mean i can afford their stuff. not to mention the hawkers throwing things in my face and refusing to hear my "no" (or my more forceful "nahi!" when necessary). anyway, enough of that, because the visit really was incredible.

then onto the red fort, across the river. the fort was built around the same time, by the same empire. it's completely red sandstone (hence the "red" fort), and gives great views of the taj from far away. there are many rooms and passages, all with a brief explanation from the guide (this is where the harem for the emporer danced, this is where the kings met to conference, this is where the queen took a bath, etc.) i was a dorky tourist and got most excited about the monkeys running around, ha!

the final visit of the day was to sikandra, the tomb of akbar the great. another beautiful building (picture below), though this one was not adorned inside. the tomb itself is in an empty room, and the tomb was pure marble. the gardens at sikandra were filled with some sort of elk prancing about. combine that with the sound of palm trees and sun, and the place was wonderfully serene.


too bad the car ride home could not maintain the serenity of this finish to the day. :)

indian marriage

i feel so lucky to have attended an indian marriage! the experience began with getting dressed for the wedding, and my colleague sunil's wife not only loaned me a sari but she wrapped me in it! binni was so sweet - and an expert with saris! i tried to learn how...but i'm not sure i could recreate it.

the marriage turned out to be only a reception, while the traditional ceremony had already taken place in the hometown of the couple. the marriage was arranged...for those of you who are wondering. it's still quite common to have arranged marriages here - sunil and binni were also arranged. sunil has been quite good at explaining the traditions to me. wearing a sari was interesting...it hangs so differently than anything i've ever worn that i was constantly afraid it would unravel and fall off! i'm sure that would be a great way to make a good impression in this conservative country. ha! the comments were hilarious - sunil told me "i am thinking you look quite gorgeous in a sari" and the hotel reception guys were well impressed, saying i looked so sweet. add to that comments from my friends on facebook, i'm thinking maybe this should be my new look.

the wedding had a lot of fantastic food - i got to experience some intersting indian snacks! i guess normally there is plenty of dancing and music, but this reception was quite subdued. not only had the traditional ceremony already taken place in the hometown of the couple, but the groom's mother had recently passed away. i was still excited to wear a sari, even if i didn't get to see a complete ceremony! on the way to the wedding, we did see part of a ceremony - the bridegroom riding on a horse, surrounded by people playing music and dancing. too bad i wasn't fast enough with my camera!

akshardham & lotus temple

my first weekend adventure was to akshardham - a temple built a few years ago to honor the guru Bhagwan Swaminarayan. well...i think guru would be an appropriate term. i'm still trying to get my head around some of religious ideas over here. unfortunately, i have no photos of the place as cameras are not allowed. the buildings were all beautiful - amazing marble carvings, statues and gardens. the india way of showing the history of this guru was...interesting (and a bit entertaining). between giant screen movies, animatronics and boat rides, i think i know everything about this man's life. it was kinda like a religious disneyworld (especially the animatronics). :)

after touring the temple, we went into delhi to see the lotus temple. the lotus temple is a temple of the baha'i faith, and it's modeled after a lotus flower. it actually looks a bit like the sydney opera house, but i'm not sure which was first.





while admiring the temple was great, i think the most entertaining part of this visit was the spectacle i became. there was an entire school of children who kept turning to look and smile. then there was this little girl whose older brother/friend/uncle? approached me to say she wanted to meet me. she didn't speak any english, but reached out to shake my hand. kinda funny... who knew i'd be such a celebrity! cell phone pictures came next...ha ha